21: Not to bear a grudge

The Book of Knowledge
Laws of Character
Not to bear a grudge (Lev. 19:18)

            MARCUS and GABRIEL in couple’s counseling with their THERAPIST
            GABRIEL is noticeably pale and sickly looking

MARCUS
i don’t know if you understand what you’ve done

GABRIEL
i do it’s why i apologized

MARCUS
but it was just a quick apology

GABRIEL
a quick sincere apology

THERAPIST
Gabriel i think Marcus is looking for an apology that
takes a bit more time

GABRIEL
like how long like five minutes?

THERAPIST
we don’t need to keep time

GABRIEL
i just wanna know if my apology wasn’t sufficiently long/ how do i know when it is?

MARCUS
jesus fucking christ you are such a whiny little bitch

            beat

GABRIEL
wow/
woooooooooooow

THERAPIST
Marcus let’s avoid that/ kind of language

MARCUS
i could call him much worse

THERAPIST
please don’t

MARCUS
abomination
monster
murderer/
cannibal

GABRIEL
you are so insensitive

MARCUS
I’M insensitive?

THERAPIST
boys please-

MARCUS
don’t call me a boy i’m forty-five-fucking-years old

GABRIEL
it seems you make no attempt to understand/ my experience

MARCUS
i don’t understand i’ll admit it and i’ve no desire to-

GABRIEL
you don’t need to understand
i’d like you to understand but you don’t need to
but i do need you to support me

MARCUS
/i don’t support you

GABRIEL
like with your whole bisexual thing
i don’t understand it but i support it

MARCUS
oh my god that is NOT the same

GABRIEL
why not?

MARCUS
because being bisexual isn’t the same thing as being a zombie

            a chunk of flesh falls off GABRIEL’s cheek
            MARCUS opens his mouth to speak

GABRIEL
don’t
not a word
            GABRIEL takes some glue out of his bag
            he glues the chunk of flesh back on his face
you make all our problems about my being a zombie

MARCUS
YOU KILLED MY MOTHER

GABRIEL
i did not kill her god/ we keep rehashing this
i fed on her it’s not the same

MARCUS
unalived her i don’t know

GABRIEL
she is fine
we could call her right now

MARCUS
I DON’T WANT HER TO BE LIKE-

GABRIEL
what
like me?

MARCUS
that’s right
i don’t want her to be like you

GABRIEL
i’ll tell you what she’s a lot more fun these days

MARCUS
but she’s dead

GABRIEL
undead

MARCUS
same thing

            silence

THERAPIST
boys-

MARCUS
            to THERAPIST
/i will break something if you keep on with “boy” we are not your pet homos

GABRIEL
you really think that’s the same?
dead undead
it’s all the same?

MARCUS
you think being gay and being bi are the same thing

GABRIEL
            to himself
they kinda are

MARCUS
again AGAIN with/ the snippy asides

THERAPIST
Gabriel remember we want to verbalize all our feelings clearly

GABRIEL
all right
all right
            beat
it hurts me that you look at me
as this monstrosity
but i’m just an undead boy
sitting across from an alive boy
hoping we can make something work
do you forgive me?

            silence

MARCUS
i hate it when you call me boy

GABRIEL
do
you
forgive me?

            MARCUS pulls out a fucking sword (where did that come from??)
            he slices GABRIEL’s head off

MARCUS
i forgive you

            the THERAPIST is in shock

THERAPIST
uhhhh
…

MARCUS
you can bill me directly for this session

            MARCUS exits
            despite his head being cut off GABRIEL can still speak

GABRIEL’S HEAD
my boyfriend is really toxic isn’t he?

THERAPIST
i don’t like to say things like this but
yeah
yeah
            THERAPIST pulls out a cigarette
            she smokes
            THERAPIST looks at GABRIEL’s head
            a little seductive
and just to be clear
you’re not bi right
you’re fully
gay?

            awkward sexual beat

GABRIEL’S HEAD
sorry

THERAPIST
just my luck

            THERAPIST smokes
            GABRIEL’s body reaches out for his head
            but cannot find it

            END OF PLAY