45: Not to be afraid of killing the false prophet
The Book of Knowledge
Laws of Idolatry and Paganism
Not to be afraid of killing the false prophet (Deut. 18:22)
CW: D****d T***p
a marionette theatre set up on a proscenium stage
a puppet of a man with orange skin and a rageful face enters
ORANGE MAN PUPPET
i love greed
canned sound of a crowd gasping
i love chaos
canned sound of a crowd gasping
i love Hitler
canned sound of a crowd booing
a puppet of a woman in a white pantsuit enters
canned sound of a crowd cheering
PANSUIT LADY PUPPET
not on my watch
the PANSUIT LADY PUPPET attacks the ORANGE MAN PUPPET
she beats him up
whimsical music plays
very Punch and Judy
the PANTSUIT LADY PUPPET pulls out a sword
she stabs the ORANGE MAN PUPPET again and again
he falls down dead
the PANSUIT LADY PUPPET raises her sword
canned sound of a crowd hooting and hollering
the marionette theatre curtain is drawn
the PLAYWRIGHT (not a puppet) enters
PLAYWRIGHT
thank you thank you
you’re too kind
my name is-
his name is bleeped out
i wrote this little skit
chuckles with false modesty
in these unprecedented times
we must support the arts
we must support radical work
now more than ever
we must resist
a HUMAN PANSUIT LADY (not a puppet) enters with a sword
she stabs the PLAYWRIGHT
it’s quite brutal
it takes a while for him to die
once he’s dead
HUMAN PANSUIT LADY wipes the blood off her hands on her white pants
she turns to us
HUMAN PANSUIT LADY
not on my watch
the curtain on the actual stage closes
the canned sound of an audience hooting and hollering
HUMAN PANSUIT LADY and PLAYWRIGHT re-enter the curtain
they take a bow
no longer in character
stagehands bring on stools and microphones for them
the DIRECTOR enters and takes a seat
canned sound of applause for the DIRECTOR
he waves at us with false modesty
the talkback begins
the DIRECTOR uses a mic
DIRECTOR
i think we have our first question
an AUDIENCE MEMBER stands up
speaks into a mic
AUDIENCE MEMBER
what inspired this work?
it’s so
…
challenging
DIRECTOR
that means so much
uhh i was
well
these past few years
more like past few centuries am i right?
the audience chuckles
i’ve noticed a slide into
brutal tribalism
where even people i agree with politically
refuse nuance
refuse complexity
they end up being
in many ways
just as close minded just as dangerous
as the conservatives they criticize
and that is not what liberalism is to me
plus
ya’ know
swords
he chuckles
an audience member stands up
she wears a white pantsuit with a Blue Lives Matter flag
RACIST PANSUIT LADY
pansy asses
she pulls out a gun
fires three times
shoots all three people on stage in the head
they slump over dead
RACIST PANSUIT LADY runs onstage
she poses with her gun a-la Charlie’s Angels
RACIST PANSUIT LADY
18 caliber boys
who wants a taste?
the real sound of a small group of people clapping in the audience
the work lights in the actual theatre come on
everyone gathers onstage
nobody is in character
a PRODUCER enters
PRODUCER
thank you thank you all
we’re thrilled to be opening the Kennedy Center’s 2025-2026 season
what do you think Mr. President?
everyone onstage waits expectantly for him to respond
they wait and they wait
the work lights go out
we sit in the dark
END OF PLAY