56: Not to derive benefit from ornaments of idols

The Book of Knowledge
Laws of Idolatry and Paganism
Not to derive benefit from ornaments of idols (Deut. 7:25)

            the SUPER FAMOUS POPSTAR comes onstage

            she is covered in Christmas lights and Christmas ornaments

            like “we can barely see her physical form” covered

            like maybe she is a Christmas tree come to life

            but no

            it’s the SUPER FAMOUS POPSTAR

            she grabs a microphone that looks like a nutcracker

SFP
how’s everyone doing tonight?
            crowd roars
is everyone living their best life?
            crowd roars
is everyone feeling fucking FREE and fucking ALIVE?
            crowd roars
are you ready for CHRISTMAS IN JULY?

            crowd is silent

           SFP sings a song

SFP
            singing
THE SUN OUTSIDE’S NOT SHINING
THE GRILLS ARE PUT AWAY
WE’VE COVERED UP THE SWIMMING POOLS
AND MADE THE YULETIDE GAY

CHRISTMAS IN JULY
CHRISTMAS IN JULY
THE SUMMER’S HERE WITH WINTER CHEER
IT’S CHRISTMAS IN JULY

THE EGGNOG’S THICK AND CREAMY
THE FIRE’S BURNING BRIGHT
AND YOU’VE UNPACKED YOUR PLASTIC SPRUCE
TO MARK THIS HOLY NIGHT

CHRISTMAS IN JULY
CHRISTMAS IN JULY
WE’LL DECK THE HALLS THE WHOLE YEAR LONG
IT’S CHRISTMAS IN JULY

SO WON’T YOU BUY MY ORNAMENTS?
YES YOU NEED TO BUY MY ORNAMENTS
GO TO MY ONLINE STORE AND BUY THESE ORNAMENTS
SO I CAN PAY MY ALIMONY

AND BECAUSE IT’S

CHRISTMAS IN JULY
CHRISTMAS IN JULY
SAINT NICK’S GOT PLANS TO GET HIS TAN
THIS CHRISTMAS IN JULY

CHRISTMAS IN JULY
CHRISTMAS IN JULY
BUY MY SHIT MOTHERFUCKERS
IT’S CHRISTMAS IN JULY

            crowd roars

            they throw mistletoe onto the stage

            and shout “ENCORE”

            the curtain comes down

            END OF PLAY